All times GMT
1745: A rare disappointment for Paul Nicholls and Ruby Walsh in the last race, but still a great week for both of them as they walk off with the leading trainer and jockey prizes at the 2009 Festival. We've seen some true champions this week, but none as astonishingly impressive as Kauto Star, who arguably produced the performance of his life and probably the best seen in the Gold Cup since Best Mate to spreadeagle his rivals today. With Denman seemingly restored to his best or something pretty damn close to it and with Cooldine emerging as a future star in taking the RSA Chase, next year's Festival highlight already looks obvious, even with 361 days to go. Punjabi, Celestial Halo and Binocular, none of whom are older than six, could dominate the two-mile hurdling scene for seasons to come. Master Minded and Big Buck's could well come back to defend their championship crowns in 12 months' time. So much to savour, so much to look forward to. Until the next time, this is your intrepid punting pal, signing off from Prestbury Park having made sufficent cash to pay for the week's overheads - a new tyre, an Edamame bean salad and a couple of cheeky pasties with enough left spare to pay for a couple of medicinal pints this evening. Cheers.
1727: Sky Bet's Cheltenham Challenge giveaway has resulted in 256 people winning a share of £10,000 after getting the Gold Cup 1-2-3 correct. Each of them will receive bets to the value of £39.06. Well done all of you.
1725: Alan King's relief at getting off the mark is incredibly evident. Good on him though.
1723: Great ride, great end to the week. Please allow me to enjoy watching the replay.
1722: 'Festival Radio' is currently playing Regret by New Order. An interesting choice.
1720: Like shelling peas.
1710: This is a bit of a below-par renewal of this race, isn't it? I can see punters are getting stuck into Poquelin, who could potentially be a bit better than his mark when conditions are in his favour, but he's not for me at this price. I won't be trying to get get out of jail in the last, because I'm not in there, but it's Oh Crick each-way for me. The rougher the race, the more I think he'll like it. And lord knows, Alan King, who is a brilliant trainer, deserves a winner at this year's Festival.
1647: The wheels are falling off! Not a bad run from the Big Eared machine. Maybe he'd be better on a less demanding track but absolutely no disgrace. I couldn't have backed the winner if you'd given me a dozen goes though - that must have helped the bookies put a little bit back in the satchels...
1632: The three lucky winners of today's £50 free bet will be contacted by email - please can you send me your Sky Bet user names by return. It's all too much for Bill, who is "surrounded by matt gloss and broken skirting". Presumably you were going to pay someone else to do it, until your luck ran out this afternoon. At least you've seen a race you won't forget for a long time today.
1631: Michael Shinners of Sky Bet says: "Kauto Star is such a public horse and the fact that Ruby Walsh was also on board made for a shocking result. Not only was the winner a bad result, but the places were also very poor, leaving it hard to find a punter who hadn't won on the race. After Kauto Star demolished the field today, already we are keen to keep well out of the way of him for next year's Gold Cup."
1626: Next year's Gold Cup prices with Skybet: 7/4 Kauto Star, 5/1 Denman, 7/1 Cooldine, 16/1 bar. What a race that will be to look forward to...
1614: But let's not dwell on the disappointment. We've got machine Big Eared Fran to look forward to in the David Pipe Hurdle. Oh you know what I mean.
1611: The familiar taste of anti-climax.
1602: There's something beautifully timeless about the process of throwing hats and newspapers into the air. You get the feeling that punters will still be doing it at the Cheltenham Festival in 200 years time. In space. Using their anti-gravity gloves. Or something like that.
1600: Ben and the Sydney crew are celebrating with a 3am cigar on the balcony. What a great game this is when you get it right.
1557: I fear for the Placepot. I took a bit of a view on this race and left out some of the obvious ones. I have Juveigneur, Limerick Boy, Royal Auclair and Southwestern. In case you hadn't noticed, I like these ex-Rules horses against the point-to-pointers. You can't beat a bit of Festival experience in my opinion. Good luck to Jonny Rose, who sent me his banker Festival double on Tuesday, and has been waiting patiently all week for the second leg - Juveigneur - after Garde Champetre did his thing in the cross-country race.
1553: Ladbrokes appear not to have noticed that My Will and Roll Along have both just run cracking Grand National trials and continue to offer the pair at 20/1 and 50/1 respectively. At the risk of teaching my granny to suck eggs...
1535: As punters we're given all of the clues and then asked to make a judgement as to whether the odds correctly reflect the likelihoods of the different possible outcomes. The infuriating part comes with the post-race uncertainties - would he have won if hadn't made that mistake? should he have made his move earlier? will we ever know if the early faller would have been involved in the finish? This year, there are no questions, no should-haves, would-haves or could-haves. Kauto Star jumped impeccably, quickened brilliantly and sprinted up the hill. Denman gave his all, his absolute all. He once again finished in front of Exotic Dancer and Neptune Collonges. The also-rans were comfortably beaten. It was the best horses at their best. Hats and newspapers went flying into the air. Marvellous, marvellous stuff.
1532: Sometimes it's all about so much more than the punting. Well done if you kept the faith with Kauto Star. From the sounds of the cheers still ringing in the air, it seems like 99 per cent of the crowd here were with you all the way. But believe me I was cheering just as loud and I didn't have a bean on him. What an amazing race. What a day at the home of horseracing.
1519: The pre-race parade passes without event. Denman looks fine, not great but fine - better than he did at Paul Nicholls' media day three weeks ago. Kauto Star looks well, but really they all do, Air Force One especially. I don't think there is a single result which I could say after the race I hadn't considered a possibility. Anything could happen in the next seven minutes. I can make a case for virtually anything to happen in this year's Gold Cup. But I don't want anything to happen, I want something great to happen. Let's hope that none of us are disappointed.
1502: As the race draws nearer, I can't help but feel that even though they don't win me a bean, I'd like to see Kauto Star or Denman destroy these. Everyone loves a great racehorse and any horse who has won two Gold Cups must be something special. But if they don't I'll settle for Exotic Dancer or Air Force One.
1448: I know you won't believe me but I had the first five home as my Placepot picks. I'm flying. Absolutely flying. Got Kauto Star, Exotic Dancer and Neptune Collonges in the Gold Cup. I don't know why but I'm sensing something special in this race. I can't say what. Maybe it's going to be that prophetic tricast from Fat Ant (see 1247). I hope he's put his selections through in the Sky Bet Gold Cup Challenge (free to enter - win £10,000 in free bets).
1432: Yes I'm getting quite excited about the Placepot too, Brian, although if Kandari had held on for third it would have been double bubble. But as I spent a ridiculous amout of money on it, I need a few more 'results' if I'm going to make my first million today.
1428: The Queen is wearing a "russet red coat and hat" according to a press release. I thought it was more postbox red personally, but it's a matter of perspective. I wouldn't ask Victor Chandler while he's got those glasses on - I'm surprised he can see his way around the racecourse.
1424: Mike Barden, off work with a pretend bad leg (yet another one of you - disgusting) was unable to get his Placepot on because his bank card had expired and he couldn't find the replacement in his mountain of unopened post. (Yes, I don't open my post either when I'm struggling for winners). I think we all know what's going to happen to the Placepot that was never placed now, don't we?
1415: Not bad at all. It's goodbye Dave's Dream and hello for the each-way on Cockney Trucker (3rd) and Kandari (5th). Each-way punters with Sky Bet get paid on sixth home who was... the well-backed Dave's Dream. Ouch, expensive that one. And the Placepot's still rolling.
1355: Sky Bet clearly rate the form of this year's Triumph Hurdle and offer 16-1 Zaynar and 20-1 Walkon for next year's Champion Hurdle. Paddy Power go 25s and 33s respectively.
1348: Don't forget that there are six places on offer for each-way punters in the next race with Sky Bet. Once again, my eggs are in more than one basket in this race, but I am against Dave's Dream across the board. Nicky Henderson is one of the finest judges of a jumper anywhere in the land and if he says he doesn't think he's the right type of horse to be making a quick return to action then that's good enough for me. I'm against him in match bets and I've backed Cockney Trucker, Aachen, Kandari and Farringdon at various prices and stages in the build-up to the Festival. I know that some of you think he's a certainty but it takes the right type of horse to be able to do 'the double' and I don't think he's it.
1340: I'm absolutely buzzing now. I'm at the home of jumps racing with more than 50,000 other fanatics.
1336: Well let me tell you, I have been here all week and I have never heard a noise like that for any race. The roar as those two jumped the last together made every hair stand up on my body. A fantastic result at the end of a fantastic race. Two well-backed horses, neck and neck, everyone screaming their hearts out. Brilliant jumps racing. Brilliant.
1328: Well, good luck to each and every one of you - workers and shirkers alike. I'm really going for it today. Zaynar, Walkon or Starluck would all be fair winners for me, having backed them all at various stages over the last eight weeks. Anything else and we're in the red.
1325: Behind me in the queue for the chicken wrap I heard the following conversation. Well, I say conversation, it was more of a one-way rant. "What, you've spent it all? Already? What if you don't get one winner? How the hell are we going to get home then?". Women - they just don't understand, do they? I walked from Wetherby to Leeds once. Itgave me plenty of time to think about what I'd done.
1311: Don't tell my wife but I had a cornish pasty and a jamaican chicken wrap. I don't know if or when I will have time to eat again today and having bought the pasty, my eye was caught by a sign saying 'the healthy alternative' on the chicken wrap stand. I wanted to be healthy, so I thought I ought to have one of those too. There are only 20 minutes until the first race and I haven't even looked at the match bets. Racing could start at 4pm and I still wouldn't feel fully prepared.
1308: Victor Chandler is wearing a pair of glasses that make a statement. For legal reason, I am unable to tell you what that statement is.
1247: Last email for a while. I thought you ought to read the whole thing. " Hi Will, I've never heard of you nor you me. I am affectionately known as Fat Ant from Rayleigh. I have in the past dreamt winners, one being Nortons Coin 100/1 and Frankincense in the Lincoln ridden by G Starkey, before the sonic gun incidents and the Piggott impression, not quite on Dancing Brave. Last night it happened again, the Gold Cup winner. It's pretty clear to me, the finish involves a horse starting with Roll who just holds on from something loopy. Hope this helps. Fat Ant P.S The third horse is the remounted Kauto who falls at the last when twelve lengths clear!!" Right, I'm off to find a pasty. Then it's time to have a look at the match bets.
1241: It's so good to know that I'm not the only person who promises my wife that everything's going to be okay and luxury holidays in the Caribbean when things are going well, only to quietly withdraw the offer during tougher times. I feel like this blog is turning into a bit of a confessional. Ben B reckons that a small grey-haired old lady has been seen in Windsor betting shops placing large wads of self-portraits on Barbers Shop. Surely, she's not a cash punter, is she? I wonder if she's having a Placepot today? Or a Swinger? She's put some punters away already today by foiling a gamble on the colour of her hat. Paddy Power laid a total of "around £2,000" on green from 5-1 downwards, with the last bet at 11.22am before the market closed being £200 at 3-1. The winner was Red - only one bet being staked of £10 at 8-1. It's a virtual skinner. I reckon she dropped the green one in a puddle on the way here and had to get the spare that she always keeps in the boot for emergencies out.
1233: Ben Conway and the Sydney crew (another late night, lads) are going faeces or bust on Kauto Star today. I'd love to see a brilliant winner of the Gold Cup today and Kauto Star's unquestionably the horse most likely to provide a moment of sheer class, but he won't be carrying my cash. I've backed Exotic Dancer (without the favourite, in case he finishes second to him again), Air Force One and Madison du Berlais.
1228: Steve Grant made the fatal mistake of thinking he had another note in his wallet, only to find that it was an old Tote slip. That is a trap I have fallen into many times. As such, he is now hungry having spent his sandwich money on gambling and won't eat today unless Master of Arts wins the Triumph Hurdle. Isn't that one of the 12 tell-tale signs that you have a problem? I think I read it in a Gamcare leaflet once while I was hammering the 'repeat bet' button on the roulette machine.
1225: The country's economy is on the verge of collapse and the captains of British industry are all planning on doing a half-day, judging from the contents of my inbox. You know who you are. All of you. For shame.
1208: DH (probably best to keep his identity anonymous) is wondering what the moral code is when it comes to paying out on bets placed onthe behalf of a loved one. Or to put it another way, he wants me to say that it's okay for him to stitch up his missus. David, or should I say Mr Howells, I'm amazed you even need to ask. Of course it's okay. Betting winnings are exempt from all 'what's-yours-is-mine-and-what's-mine-is-yours' arrangements. It's in the bible. In the book of Numbers.
1208: Excessive behaviour is a constant topic in your correspondence. Simon Thomas spent all day in the Faltering Fullback in Finsbury Park (the horse of the same name runs in the Martin Pipe race today, topical tip fans) and ended up flat broke and decorating the platform at St Albans City. This is not the sort of behaviour I want to reward, let alone condone. I like the joke though ST - "Did you hear that the inventor of inflatable shoes has died? He's popped his clogs".
1206: The press box is evidently a Republican bastion. Absolutely nobody stood up for the national anthem (although, to be fair, I've never heard it played at a racecourse before, so I wasn't really expecting it).
1202: My email inbox has never been so busy. Thanks for all of your messages. David fancies Walkon in the first and is putting his shirt (and possibly his shoes) on it. It's in the Placepot. I agree with you, Richard W, about On Raglan Road and I wouldn't be too discouraged despite Howard not yet having had one in the frame this week - they haven't been running at all badly. It's in the Placepot. Unlike all the others who have been pretending to be ill this week to get off work, Bill has been off work "to...err...get a few odd jobs done". He's on Madison du Berlais in the Gold Cup. Big shout in my opinion. Horses can and do suddenly improve on their previous form without it necessarily being a fluke. I quickly snaffled the last of the 10/1 immediately after the Kempton race and felt very proud of myself for being a clever ante-post punter. Today he's...err...10/1.
1156: The Placepot is completed. It's a work of intricate genius and astonishing complexity. But if one of Zaynar or Walkon don't make the frame in the first, it'll all be over very, very quickly.
1140: I have decided to reproduce the excellent poem that Paul has sent me in an attempt to win a free bet. It's a bit long but see you what you think. SOUTHWELL ON GOLD CUP DAY Johnny's there for just one ride, In the quarter to four, 50-1 in a maiden, He's seen it all before, The Post once called him "brilliant", An apprentice to watch, But things did not work out that way, Chances for winning, lost, But Johnny found an ally, An ageing small time trainer, He's up at 5, riding out, On beasts that can't do better, He's here on one of them today, A six-year-old called JackWho for all his efforts, The view's been from the back, March wind whips across Rolleston, As they enter the stalls, And when they're out, Well it's not Jack, Who rises to the calls, But it's too fast, most cannot last, So as they hit the straight, Jack sneaks through beaten horses, Makes most of his light weight, And at the post, yes it was close, But Jack's won by a neck! The owners stare in disbelief, The trainer says "By 'eck!", It won't go down in history, But no-one can take away, That Jack and Johnny's glory came, At Southwell on Gold Cup day.
1122: Unless I can persuade a hundred of you to come in with me at a tenner a pop, that is.
1120: The initial draft of my placepot perm contains 9375 lines. I fear some pruning might be needed.
1115: Usually I have a good thing or three for the County Hurdle getting-out stakes, but now they've fiddled with things and made the Grand Annual the finale, I haven't got a clue. I've never had much luck in the race before. This year's renewallooks unusually weak to me, with a few having precious little obvious chance but I'll be hoping that Oh Crick can take advantage of his featherweight. I've always thought that he's the sort of horse who likes both a bit of rough and little tumble and he ought to get plenty in this race.
1110: The sniffer dogs have been and gone from the Royal Box which must mean Her Maj is on the way. I've been in the Royal Box here before (not when there was anyone remotely royal inside). It's very nice. Like one of those superior chalets at Butlin's.
1100: It's been a week for giveaways (normally me giving my money away to the bookies) but today I have an incredible THREE £50 BETS to offer to my favourite emailers (sorry previous winners this week are disqualified). So send me something interesting about today's racing, preferably that appeals to my childish sense of humour and you could be a winner. I'll email you if you are.
1045: Ah, the first topical tip of the day. Loyal reader Raymondo comes up with Hangover in the 4.40. No chance sadly, Ray. Big Eared Fran is one of my biggest bets of the whole week. Did you see him at Sandown on Saturday? He's a bloody machine! In fact, just writing about him is getting my punting juices flowing. I'm going to have some more on. At this stage yesterday, I was already fearing the worst. Now I'm frothing at the mouth with excitement. Today is going to be a great day.
1036: Skybet evening greyhounds ace Dale Tempest has just done the most shameless RUK plug ever for his company's offer to pay out on SIX PLACES for each-way winners on the County Hurdle, by holding the advert in the Racing Post up to the camera for about 15 seconds. I hope he's also got the decency to do what I did yesterday and give his whole day's wages back to the firm over the course of the day. Still, who wants to get paid, eh?
1022: When you think of Tewkesbury you don't think of tracksuited chav tearaways, but there were three running amok in the cafe section of the petrol station last night. Well, I say running amok - they were actually drinking M&S smoothies and just looking like rather lonely and desperate human beings before the nice girl behind the counter attempted to move them on, saying 'this isn't a youth club'. Then they went all nasty. They don't have youth clubs any more, do they? A game of ping-pong and a bottle of panda pops made me the man I am today.
1020: For dinner, I upgraded last night from Somerfield to Simply M&S (or the branch of one that was inside the petrol station where I filled up on the way back to my B&B). In need of my first meal of the week that wasn't primarily saturated fat, I bought an edamame bean salad and some falafels. I'd never had an edamame bean before. Don't think I'll be bothering again, to be honest.
1015: Sam Thomas is having his photograph taken on the steps of the weighing room to promote a company whose logo is splashed all over his breeches. He doesn't look very happy about it. Presuambly the company concerned are hoping that Denman wins the Gold Cup so that pictures of him are splashed all over the papers tomorrow. Or that he falls off. In front of lots of photographers. Probably at the final fence. When miles clear. Either really.
0950: Two non-runners today - 2.05 Take The Breeze ('lame') and 5.15 Chapoturgeon (hosed up yesterday, sorry 'ran yesterday').
0945: The much-lauded 'going stick' is a undoubtedly a great concept, as it attempts to created a unified scale for going reports from all racecourses. However it is patently of limited use to the punter. The reading has this morning moved from 7.0 to 6.9 (indicating a softening of the ground), but the officiallyreport points to the opposite having gone from 'Good to Soft' to 'Good to Soft, Good to places'. Who are we to believe? A ridiculous situation.
0930: Good morning and a warm welcome from Gold Cup day at the Cheltenham Festival. As always, it's been a meeting to remember, but I feel like we're still looking for a star. Master Minded did his job, but didn't dazzle. Voy Por Ustedes tried his heart out but ultimately wasn't quite good enough to defy a sloppy jump at the fourth-last fence, the World Hurdle failed to be Rocked by the Kasbah, Punjabi found most in a war of attrition for the Champion Hurdle. Tony McCoy was brilliant on Wichita Lineman and persevered when many others would have given up, but it was 'only' a handicap. All good stuff, I know, but nothing to bore the grand-children with. Today I need a hero (ooh ooh ooh oooooooh). Who will it be?
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